I was reading this blog about how some women do not like receiving oral sex. Some of the reasons they list are: I worry he doesn’t like doing it, I’m self-conscious about the appearance/smell/yadda yadda yadda of my ladyparts & I don’t enjoy it all that much. I just prefer sex."
So of course I need to ask my friends here. What do you guys think? Do you agree with these answers? Have another reason you don't like it? or maybe you love it and think these women are crazy LOL
Let talk about it! :)
A fan on Facebook says they love it!
Another fan on Facebook says they love it! :)
I don't enjoy it at all....between men going at it like I am a buffet at the Golden Corral, and their facial hair or stubble rubbing against me, it is not at all appealing, and a huge turn off. Also, I had a horizontal c-section and it caused a drop in skin which in turn does not make me feel attractive without me constantly having my hands there. SO I do not enjoy it at all..
Thanks for sharing, Bella! It's hard to experience pleasure when you feel uncomfortable and it sounds like you are experiencing physical discomfort (stubble rubbing against you) as well as some discomfort about your post-c-section tummy. I have had 2 c-sections so I totally understand. Embracing our post-baby body is definitely an adjustment, but even with our imperfections, we are still entitled to enjoy pleasure! But it sounds like the bigger issue is that your partners have not made it very pleasurable for you because of their poor technique. Wonder how many ladies don't enjoy oral sex because of their partner's poor technique?
There are alot of men that don't enjoy giving oral sex on a woman because some view it as something only done when you are in love. I have had this discussion with my hetero friends numerous times. One in particular said he would only go down on his ' old lady' and he wouldn't do it that often. On the contrary, I do know men that have gone down on women who were not clean and swore against it. Then there are men that don't do it because they don't know how to find the clitoris and give pleasure.
This makes me sad 8(
I think the same. I'm one who thinks he doesn't enjoy it and I'm self-conscious. However i do love it. And i have brought these problems to my boyfriend of 7 years and he says he loves doing it and doesnt see why i am self-conscious. So I've been trying to enjoy more! ;)
It's great that you were able to talk about it with your boyfriend. You see, he loves doing it! Believe what he is saying and feel just a little more secure knowing this is something you both enjoy!
It's funny how the sexes are different ... all men will say yes I love a BJ, and will put up with a bad one and usually not say a word, and ask for another ... yet a woman can have a partner that is skilled at giving oral and still not allow herself to enjoy it.
While poor skills and razor stubble can all play a role in a woman enjoying oral, I would say like all parts of the act of sex women are much more emotionally invested, which can easily allow her to inject her personal opinion of her self to a level that could easily de-value the act and abilities of even a skilled person.
I feel this way from personal experience ... 6 years ago my partner had little to no interest in receiving oral, now she can have multiple orgasms even when my 5 o'clock shadow is poking her.
So no they are not crazy, they just need a partner to help them learn to feel comfortable and enjoy it for the fun it can be (assuming their partner knows what they are doing ... lol)
I feel many women are not turned on at the thought of it because of the technique of the giver. I tell guys you cannot lap at it like a dog drinking on a hot day. As a man and as men, it is important that we understand all of the sensitive parts of the female pubic area. The tongue is a great tool to stimulate and utilizing the entire territory with subtlety will bring her more pleasure, and you by giving her that pleasure. No woman is going to enjoy it if she is self conscious, nervous or uncomfortable so for her to be relaxed is vital too.
You make some excellent points! Do you think there is something a partner can do to help a woman feel less self-conscious, nervous or uncomfortable?
Absolutely. While I have spoke with lots of women who have a negative view on their pubic area I explain that it's something to to be celebrated, not feared and working to get over that negative view is the first step towards increased pleasure.
1. Make your pubic grooming a couples event. Start with a shower or bath where he can wash you sensually. Watch how he adores your parts and see his excitement. Yup that same body you are not so sure of is driving him crazy turning him on. If you trim or shave your pubic area lay down on a towel and let him do the grooming for you. He will not complain and you will be able to see how excited he gets just being able to do this for you. Odds are good he'll take the responsibility of it off of your to do list on a regular basis. Get creative, maybe you want a heart shaped patch of bush down there. :)
2. Deep-six those thoughts you have that do nothing but increase your inhibitions and block your ability to enjoy all the benefits of him giving you oral:
- I am concerned about my taste: Even if you've tasted yourself and don't like how you taste it should have no bearing on your guy going down on you. He revels in your taste and scent and is more than happy to be there. If you are of proper hygiene there isn't any good reason why you should feel this way.
- Self conscious about my looks or I'm not pretty: Again here is a common issue that prohibits enjoyment. While its no secret we all judge ourselves and our looks, too often these assessments have no basis. Who are we comparing ourselves to and why? You make you sexy and nothing is as sexy as confidence. We spend the majority of our time in clothes and when we are naked it is for showers, dressing, etc and therefore considered "private" so when we appear naked in front of our partners we feel uncomfortable. Spend more time naked to improve your comfort level of being in the buff.
- When he is ready to perform oral on you get in a comfortable position preferably lying on your back and one where you can watch him is even better. Seeing how much he is enjoying it and how hard he is working to please you is a great relaxer, stimulant and emotional boost. Awkward positions that strain your legs, arms and abdomen while interesting in the short term, for the long term session fatigue will no doubt become an issue putting a damper on the fun quickly. Pulling your legs up high while on your back does restrict pelvic blood flow and some women find they aren't as sensitive or are unable to orgasm because of this. Don't be afraid to vocalize for him on what he is doing right so he doesn't switch when you've just got into the groove. Guys: Reinforce how much you want to be giving her oral.
- Think about all the wonderful feelings you feel when he is down there. Forget the laundry, planning the kids play date, the expiration on the eggs in the fridge, etc. This is time for you to relax and feel good. External distractions have no place in your pleasure.
3. Get some books on fellatio and cunnilingus and read them together. Increasing your knowledge of the body and how it works sexually will improve your oral sex technique. There are a vast number of pleasure spots that should not be ignored. The more you learn, the better you'll be and the more pleasure the both of you will get.
- Guys: Slow down, take your time and don't focus strictly on the clit. Vary strokes, pointed and flat. Vary the pressures. The outer 1/3 of the vaginal area is the most sensitive so work the clitoral arms, perineum, ferenium and the pubic mound.
hope this helps.